Ancestral trauma and the wounds of the black Madonna matrix

We, as women, hold within us a deep-seated wildness and holiness that cannot be tamed. I resonate with dark mother archetypes, myself; Hecate, Cailleach, and Persephone. I do not fear Santa Muerte and have felt her presence as protective in my life. Here’s a quote that made me think:

“The Mother aspect then may be understood to be particularly present at four of the Seasonal Moments, which are also regarded traditionally as the Solar festivals; and in this cosmology Sun is felt as Mother. I recognize these four as points of interchange: at Autumn Equinox, Mother is present primarily as Giver – She is letting Persephone go, at Spring Equinox, She is present primarily as Receiver – welcoming the Daughter back, at Winter Solstice the Mother gives birth, creates form, at Summer Solstice, She opens again full of radiance, and disperses form. The Mother is Agent/Actor at the Solstices. She is Participant/Witness at the Equinoxes, where it is then really Persephone who is Agent/Actor, embodying an inseparable Young One and Old One. The Old One is often named as Hecate, who completes the Trio – all seamlessly within each other.”

-Glenys Livingstone Ph.D., A Poiesis of the Creative Cosmos: Celebrating Her within PaGaian Sacred Ceremony –Girl God Books

In this season of celebration of the holy Virgin birth of Jesus to his mother, Mary, I am reflecting on womanhood and motherhood. So often mothers are the scapegoat for all of the ills that children endure in our society. “She should have picked better,“ if she’s a single mother. She is a “gold digger“ if she files for child support, etc. The vengeful victim mindset comes from this trauma. The school to prison pipeline that disproportionately affects men from lower socioeconomic backgrounds and communities of color also feeds into this collective trauma in society.

It is far too easy to accidentally pass down ancestral trauma either exactly as it manifested in you or in an effort to avoid it. It is a gift if you can find the way out of the labyrinth and very difficult with everything in this world designed to keep us barely surviving and stuck in fearful obedience to the toxic systems. It’s a hell of a tightrope walk but it’s not impossible and it’s worth it to do the best you can. As parent, we are still individuals and claiming that is especially essential for mothers, who are often encouraged to sacrifice and leave little room for fathers to step up. I will go into the wounds on fathers in another post…

One thing is true for all parents and for everyone else alive too- the burnout can be real. Burnout can be a great teacher, nonetheless. It took burnout for me to figure out my boundaries. I needed extreme circumstances to get the message and God delivered them to me. It didn’t crush me and instead I arose as something beyond this world yet still in it.

Once we identify as the voice observing the drama in our lives and not the voice narrating it from the stage, a profound shift occurs. We become more able to navigate the energy of our lives. So much can change with such subtle shifts in perspective.

So much of the material world‘s seemingly profound differences are quite subtle chemical and molecular differences. Scientifically, I find it interesting that women are the default gender in humans. We all have at least one X chromosome and having nothing but that, Turner’s syndrome, makes you phenotypically AFAB. Being XXY, Klinefelter’s syndrome, makes you phenotypically AMAB. Sometimes intersex, but that’s usually due to a mutant gene affecting expression of genes from the Y chromosome or something more complicated.

Regardless, we all are far more similar than some may realize, at least at some point in development. Getting worked up about our differences is a weird social construct. Let everyone define what they are, and ignore their stereotypes about what you are too.

Everyone thinks they know how others should live, sometimes it seems that way. There really is no one whose opinion matters on your life more than you, that’s all I know. A quote comes to mind about that:

"We can wonder if we live, but life is all we have, and the most important thing is to know how to live it, and this is something which nobody can teach us."

― Jean-Paul Sartre

This quote highlights the paradox that despite having access to vast knowledge, we often struggle with the fundamental question of how to live our lives.

This quote encourages us to focus on the essential questions of existence and to take responsibility for creating our own path in life.

I know my life is way too full of experiences that hardly anyone can relate to and the exponential increase from the intersection of several of the situations as factors multiplied by each other makes me edge towards a limit of terminal uniqueness. I know I am an anomaly, a glitch. I suspect many of us if not all of us are.

We all have DIFFERENT lessons to learn. It’s how you go through it more than what you go through and the only person who really knows what that is, is YOU. You are the master of your own destiny and the captain of your own soul.

Pax Profundis, and Merry Christmas. Remember, Jesus is the reason for the season and he wouldn’t be born without Mary.❤️‍🔥🌹🎶